December 4, 2008

Newsworthy words of wisdom in a tough economy

By Shana McLean Moore
Staff Writer

It seems these days that it takes more than cable or a subscription to the Mercury News to take in television news or the headlines of the large daily newspapers—it also takes a strong sense of emotional stability and, perhaps, a bottle of Maalox to handle what the media is offering up each time we endeavor to be informed.

The pervasive stories about acts of terrorism and smaller scale depravity combined with bleak economic forecasts may well be the biggest news, but San Jose’s Wendy Shiverdaker is determined to remind us all that, beneath the heavy headlines, there are stories of genuine goodness that better reflect life in our corner of the world.

The Shiverdaker family supports Wendy after her run in the Nike Women’s Marathon.

And hers is a story that could be written in a way to make the front page.

As the face of one of the millions of American families facing financial hardship because of our ailing economy this holiday season, it would be easy to tell their personal tale of troubled times. Their newsworthiness comes from the reality that three weeks ago, on the cusp of the holiday season, Shiverdaker’s husband lost 90 percent of his contract work due to a corporate layoff.

While this fact stirs feelings of sympathy and a bit of panic in the rest of us, she would prefer to see these details buried in the subtext of a much different story: a story that acknowledges the superficial changes of her material life, but manages to enhance her actual living.

“Within the first 24 hours, we started to feel people reaching out to us,” said Shiverdaker. “It caused me to look around and notice the little random acts of kindness that can add up to make a big difference.

“Now, every time I turn around someone is doing something nice for us. One friend gave us show tickets so we could see their daughter perform in a play downtown. Then there was John Pratt, the photographer who has taken our picture for the past 17 years for our Christmas cards. When I called to cancel this year’s sitting, he insisted on producing our cards at cost and, then, even offered me a part-time job. Here is a man who is feeling the economic crunch with his own business who is reaching out to help my family.

“Today’s blessing,” Shiverdaker stated, “was a surprise from a dear friend who tricked us into meeting him at Expo and presented us with a gift card that would cover the cost of a Christmas tree we will be able to enjoy for years to come. I was so overcome with emotion that I ran to the restroom to pull myself together. Wouldn’t you know that three women who were there were so concerned to see me sobbing that they rushed to help me. When I explained that these were tears of joy because of a friend’s generous heart, they were so touched that they vowed to perform an act of kindness for someone else. Isn’t it all amazing?”

The friend, who preferred to remain anonymous, has known the Shiverdakers for 16 years and simply wanted to add some cheer to the holiday for his dear friends, the godparents of his daughter. “They are just a little down on their luck this year and we were blessed to be able to help them. It feels so good to pay it forward.”

Shiverdaker wanted to share her story because the news is driving her crazy lately. “Just as soon as the numbers came in for Black Friday holiday shopping, they were saying that even though sales were up from last year, they weren’t up as much as they had hoped. The glass is half empty in the news—it all sounds so bleak,” Shiverdaker added.

“It makes me worry that, with all the negativity, people will hold on tighter to their time and their money. Now, even just a smile goes a long way. People are terrified. I want them to remember that the small (and not so small) things people have done for us have brought our family such a wonderful feeling of being cared about.”

“We usually adopt a family at Christmas, but we won’t be able to do it this year. Instead of dwelling on what we can’t do, I prefer to focus on what we can do. This year, we can still be of help to others. We plan to serve food at a local soup kitchen and buy an extra can or two of food with our own groceries to donate,” Shiverdaker continued.

“I learned the lesson that many individuals can make a small difference that collectively yields huge results when I participated in this year’s Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco. Though each of us had to commit to raising $2,500 in donations, I was able to do so by finding more than 40 people who could make a small donation that would bring me to the total. When every one of the 12,000 Team in Training runners put their donations together, they raised $18 million. Together we can all make a big difference.”

Now that she has been on both the giving and the receiving ends of that spectrum, Shiverdaker hopes to inspire others to do small things during this holiday season that won’t go unnoticed by those facing challenging times.

Always the sunny optimist, she also confides that the kindness shown to her, combined with her determination to continue to be of service to others while struggling herself, has actually left her feeling more festive than usual this holiday season. “The pressure is off to do all the things that usually leave us stressed,” she said. “It is so clear to me that it’s really all about the people around you.”

And that’s the kind of message that ought to make the front-page news.