December 2, 2004

Times FeatureMurry Frymer

Senior Follies

By Murry Frymer
Times Columnist

There were days—yes, I remember them well—when it was great to be a senior. To be a senior in high school meant you took no guff from anybody. It meant you were respected for having been there, done that.

Those pitiful little freshmen looked up to seniors. They dreamed of the day when they, too, would be so designated.

In college it only got better. To be a senior in college meant the senior prom, preparation for graduation, getting ready for the real world. And, yes, it meant respect. That was the key thing. To be a senior was to be respected by all those who hadn’t reached that pinnacle. You were a Big Man on Campus.

Well, once again I am a senior. And lo and behold, while I wasn’t looking everything seems to have reversed.

My senior class, now a very big one, does not get the awe of the new freshmen. In fact, it is the freshmen, all those silly irresponsible young people out there, who command the privileged position. The seniors, if the noise is not too bad, envy their juniors.

The respect you feel as a senior in high school or college is not similarly manifested in the “school of life,” if I may use that corny phrase. There is no glamorous senior prom. And the only graduation that lies ahead is not particularly welcome. Oh, I suppose the Senior Class does move on to the Aged Class, but that class may be thought to have even less class than the Senior Class.

Well, ain’t that a shame? Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Over in China, where I have not been, they apparently do show great respect for their seniors. Their aged, too. Old Grandma or Grandpa gets treated pretty well and the young ones gather round to hear whatever nuggets of wisdom the revered elders can still remember.

In our land, in our time, it is not like that. The young ones may gather ‘round during the holidays, but it is to reap gifts rather than wisdom. In fact, in this place, youth and its inexperience trumps senior experience all the way.

For one thing, the young are convinced that whatever wisdom granddad utters refers to a time long gone, no longer applicable. Our lives change so quickly in this society that often 30-year-olds cannot relate to 20-year-olds.

There is a new set of truths, along with the songs and the slang, every six months. So how can you listen to the over-65s?

That leaves seniors mumbling a lot. To themselves. Just as they have everything figured out, there is no one around who figures they know anything at all. So the seniors spend much of their time with other seniors, watching re-runs of “Lawrence Welk” or “I Love Lucy.”

Well, there is nothing new in any of this. In fact, in my younger years I felt exactly the same way. It is amazing to hear myself saying all those pearls of wisdom that I ignored and tried mightily to avoid when my parents offered them to me. Suddenly I feel the frustration they must have felt. They, too, sighed and watched “Lawrence Welk.”
‘Twas ever thus.

I think it is time to rethink this final Senior Class. I think we should begin to learn the lessons of those who ignore us. Maybe we should have our own senior prom. I’m not sure I can do the current dances, but I couldn’t do the fox trot either.

Maybe today’s seniors should try out all that irresponsibility that worked so well for us in high school and college.

“More beer!” we used to shout. “More wine” seems very appropriate now.

We used to be silly seniors, eager to enjoy the day. Exactly right. That is what this Senior Class needs to do.

We’ve earned it. And to heck with the respect. We can look for that when we grow up. Which, if we are wise, we will never do.