November 4, 2004

Times FeatureMurry Frymer

College Daze

By Murry Frymer
Times Columnist

Most of us remember our college days with fondness. I guess it was said to all of us that these were the best days of our lives. They were days and nights to be savored forever.

Or were they? New studies, including one recently reported in the New York Times, indicates that college days can be unusually stressful, that depression and even suicide lurk under the ivy. A book by Dr. Richard Kadison, a mental health professional at Harvard University, is titled “College of the Overwhelmed: The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It.”

Right now our high school seniors are anxiously awaiting word about their college applications. They have sought out schools that match their career interests or other goals. But Dr. Kadison advises that applicants also look for schools with mental health facilities for their students. In other words, in addition to examining the college’s faculty for academic credentials, the savvy student might also inquire about the staff of mental health professionals and what services are provided.

Thinking back at my own college days, I remember moments of depression and alienation. And with that came the assurance in my mind that I was unique in that moodiness. The other kids all seemed to be having a ball.

But we are discovering that lots of kids are not having a ball. They are stressed out most of the time. According to a recent study by the American College Health Association, about half of all college students are so depressed at times that they have trouble functioning. More than 10 percent are clinically depressed.

Is this the way it always was, or is there something new out there that is deflating these supposedly charmed days of youth? A little of both, I’d say. Youth has never been an easy time. It’s an age when self-consciousness suddenly overcomes a less introspective childhood. It’s worse now. Each succeeding generation is having to face up to greater and greater competitiveness as job opportunities begin to wane, and our confidence in future opportunities grows less certain. A young 20-year-old, perhaps a star of her high school years, enters a world where classmates are striving in ever-more frantic ways. And yes, there remains yesterday’s old uncertainties about social acceptance, attractiveness, and competence. When you think about it, the college years are fraught with fear.

Fear, of course, can lead to depression and even worse. The Columbine High School tragedy is but one example of youngsters alienated from the group, going to extremes. A Brooklyn College professor, Corey Robin, has written a new book about “Fear” that explores all sorts of facets of the subject. It seems part of our society from early ages to Iraq. A highly competitive society adds to the normal human stresses as it presents a landscape of alienation and enmity. “Success and Failure” becomes the standard by which everything gets defined, but those are terms of judgment less obvious that they seem. Money? Fame? Prizes? What are the achievements worth a lifetime of struggle? You ponder that in college. And you ponder just how you fit in? It is an age of great fragility.

And that word again: fear.

Well, I am not a psychologist or a therapist. On individual levels, young people who feel they need help should seek it. Young people are often too embarrassed to do so, or see therapy as yet another indication of their inadequacy. And this is where parents, sensitive to the needs of their kids, should be stepping in with encouragement.

I am aware that none of this is easy. And one solution does not fit all.

But, since we are becoming increasingly aware of the needs of young people, especially during the college years, it is unfortunate when those needs are hidden and allowed to deplete the pleasure of what should be, indeed, a time of excitement and challenge.

I guess, for me, a long way from college, there is the realization that people are not necessarily at fault for their problems. It is a community concern, or a societal concern. When the world becomes a fearful, difficult place, it affects the innocent the most. There is no even playing field. Some have it much harder than others. The young should be increasingly open about what troubles them. And others, including other young people, should be there to share concerns with understanding and friendship.

Ah, yes, I sound like Dr. Phil. Well, I could use Dr. Phil at times, and we certainly all can use understanding parents, good friends and anyone else in a position to help.

Needing help is in no way demeaning. It is where we all stand most of our lives.

Contact Murry Frymer at murry@timesmediainc.com.