May 15, 2008

TIMES HUMOR: BOROWITZ REPORT

Math favors Hillary, says Huckabee

Former Guv bullish on Clinton’s chances

“Don’t stop believing.” That’s the message from former Arkansas governor and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee to Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) one day after her disappointing showings in the North Carolina and Indiana primaries.

Even though her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill), is now less than two hundred delegates from clinching the nomination, “the math favors Hillary now more than ever,” Gov. Huckabee said.

“I didn’t major in math, I majored in miracles,” he told reporters in Little Rock today. “And after Tuesday’s results, my Mircle-o-meter is tingling off the hook.”

He said that even if Sen. Obama gets a majority of the delegates, “the smart money is still on Hillary.”

“The only difference between majority and minority is spelling,” he said. “And I didn’t major in spelling.”

But even as Gov. Huckabee reminded reporters of what his major was, one of his university professors, Darren Galtheim, said that the former Arkansas governor’s field of concentration in college had been overstated.

“Mike majored in miracles, but he didn’t get A’s,” Dr. Galtheim said. “We all encouraged him to switch to an easier major, like Phys Ed.”

For more from Andy Borowitz go to www.borowitzreport.com. Andy Borowitz is a nationally syndicated humor columnist whose work can be found in Newsweek and other publications.