May 13, 2004

Leland High School deals with losses

By Sheila Sanchez
Staff Writer

Troy Pollett died of stab wounds on March 20.
Hometown hero Pat Tillman was killed in Iraq April 22.
A 14-year-old girl died April 23.

All were Leland High School casualties.

It’s enough bad news to send not just students but teachers, parents and the community into a deep depression from the emotional pain caused by the tragedies.

But school officials are working hard to recover from the losses by turning to grief counselors and showing support for those suffering by letting them know they care, being honest and truly listening without giving advice or pat solutions.

In a prepared statement, Leland High School Principal Susan Votaw said “this has been a very difficult time for many students and staff. We’re aware that each person must deal with their loss in their own particular way.
She continued: “Students and staff are handling the situation with respect and dignity.”

San Jose Unified School District spokesman Bill Erlendson lamented the unfortunate incidents adding that, “what’s most painful is that you don’t really know what to do about it because these incidents don’t follow a pattern. It’s been sort of a fluke of circumstances that have occurred. You never expect those things to be happening all in the same year. It’s very unusual.”

Similarly, Rocki Kramer, executive director of the Almaden Valley Counseling Service, said, “We’ve been very concerned about how the valley has been hit by all these things. We’re talking about what we can do to help everyone cope with these devastating losses.”

Two grief counselors were on hand at Bret Harte Middle School last week and two more at the high school to help everyone cope with the unfortunate streak of bad news.

And the counseling service has received more calls this year than last, although it’s too soon to say whether they’re the result of the tragedies. Kramer said many inquiries come, sometimes several months, after the tragedies have occurred.

“The most important thing is to take note of how kids are behaving and if they see a lot of changes or if the school calls them about anything to take that advice seriously,” warned Kramer.

“It’s hard for a parent to know what’s normal and what to take seriously and when we’re talking about depression the stakes are so much higher,” said Kramer.

In the meantime, Kramer urged those suffering to be aware of behavior changes associated with depression, which sometimes don’t necessarily translate into destructive behavior but may be strong indicators of serious future problems.

Depression warning symptoms to notice, although not always observable and clear-cut, include noticeable changes in appetite, interrupted or changed sleep patterns, avoidance of friends and normal social activities, angry outbursts, tearfulness or increased touchiness, withdrawn or uncommunicative, marked personality change from outgoing to isolative, or from quiet to extremely active; frequent physical complaints or fatigue, use of drugs, alcohol or self abusive behavior; preoccupation with death, obsessive fear of nuclear war, irrational, bizarre behavior, overwhelming sense of guilt or shame, and feelings of sadness, hopelessness or despair, said Kramer.
Dr. David Arredondo, medical director of EMQ Children and Family Services, a leading provider of mental health services for children and adolescents in Northern California, said the community should be on the lookout for signs of depression.

“The rate of adolescent depression may increase dramatically after such an event,” explained Arredondo. “The community needs to be alert and maintain connection and if they see any warning signs they need to make sure and follow up.”

Arredondo said during the Vietnam War many high schools suffered the same kind of emotional and psychological pain that Leland High School students, parents and teachers are suffering at this time.

But those suffering from the losses, Arredondo said, took their grief and turned it into action by protesting against the war and stopping the conflict. “People should recognize that they’re not helpless and that together there are things they can do to help those suffering.”

Kramer suggest that if parents notice a teenager is suffering from depression she advises to love them unconditionally, put yourself in their place, don’t substitute gifts for attention, make yourself physically and emotionally available, and start talking without expecting instant rapport.

Kristine Austin, director of communications for EMQ Children and Family Services, urged students, teachers, parents and anyone interested to use the center’s Child and Adolescent Mobile Crisis Program, a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week mobile crisis intervention service available to all Santa Clara County children and adolescents under age 18 who are in acute psychological crisis. The CACP mobile team responds to youth and their families during periods of serious emotional trauma, she said. The crisis team provides direct intervention services and links children and families with other community agencies for long term care and assistance. The goal of the CACP is to stabilize the condition of both the child and the affected family members, she added.

“It’s the only mobile team in the Bay Area, and is available to anyone under 18 in Santa Clara County,” said Austin. “The goal is to stabilize the situation and help kids stay safe at home and in school. We get a lot of calls from schools, hospitals, police and parents. If there are any kids in crisis at Leland High School, I hope it will be helpful to them.”

For more information about resources available when dealing with depression call:
- Almaden Valley Counseling Service (408) 997-0200 or visit www.avcounseling.org; EMQ’s 24-hour crisis line (408) 379-9085 or (1-877) 41-CRISIS;

- Santa Clara County Suicide and Crisis Service (408) 279-3312;

- Centre for Living with Dying (408) 980-9801 or visit www.thecentre.org.