May 13, 2004

Kaiser Santa Teresa exhibit

Domestic violence becomes personal with ‘Silent Witness’

By Shari Kaplan
Editor

“I didn’t have any bruises, incisions or broken bones to show. I’d wish I did so people would believe me.”
“I began to separate myself from my co-workers so I wouldn’t have to explain the bruises or explain why I couldn’t participate in weekend social events.”

Those quotes sound like details privately shared in a small support group, but are in fact part of something both public and large. The testimonies, along with many others, are on the panels of Silent Witness, a domestic violence exhibit on display at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center, Santa Teresa through May 24. From early 2004 through mid-2005, the exhibit is making the rounds of the health maintenance organization’s northern and central California facilities.

“We’ve had the unfortunate distinction at Kaiser Santa Teresa to have three members of our community lose their lives to domestic violence,” Dr. Raj Bhandari, Kaiser Santa Teresa’s physician-in-chief, who is a neurologist, said during the exhibit’s April 27 unveiling ceremony. “Domestic violence doesn’t have any cultural or socio-economic boundaries. It affects each and every one of us. As we raise awareness, we can strike at this cycle and break it once and for all.”

Silent Witness is dedicated to the memories of Kaiser Santa Teresa employees who lost their lives at the hand of a loved one: Dr. Cassandra Floyd, obstetrics and gynecology; Lisa Munoz, optical services; and Stephanie Zalot, quality outcomes. The exhibit is not tragic as much as victorious, because each panel’s testimony comes from employees throughout the Kaiser HMO who empowered themselves—or were empowered by others—to leave an abusive relationship and build a better life for themselves and their families.

One dedicated proponent of this is Dr. Amir Hadid, an Ob/Gyn and chairman of both Kaiser Santa Teresa’s domestic violence committee and the medical subcommittee of the Domestic Violence Council of Santa Clara County.

“The exhibit is called Silent Witness because domestic violence victims often don’t say anything. They keep it secret for many reasons, such as shame, fear of their partner or fear of financial problems. So they endure things that are unspeakable,” Hadid explained in a later interview. “We want to encourage people to speak up and break the silence, or people will continue to be hurt or killed.”

As physicians, Hadid said he and his colleagues also need to be vigilant in asking questions if their patients show indications of possible domestic violence. These are not limited to visible symptoms like bruises, burns or broken bones, Hadid said, but include less blatant problems such as chronic headaches, digestive disturbances or gynecological infections.

“Some people still sweep it under the rug or pretend it doesn’t exist. I see my role as trying to spread the word that domestic violence does exist, and to look for it. I also want people to know that it’s okay to ‘come out’ and speak about it,” Hadid said.

East Bay resident Colleen Floyd-Carroll wishes her sister, Dr. Cassandra Floyd, had felt that way in 2001, when Floyd was shot and killed by her ex-husband, Ron, during a domestic dispute. A social worker by education, Floyd-Carroll has now become an advocate for domestic violence awareness to honor her sister’s memory and to prevent her fate from happening to other women.

“I think the exhibit is very powerful. There’s a similar thread woven through each panel, but each story and each woman is different,” said Floyd-Carroll, who attended the unveiling ceremony. “Cassandra screened all of her patients for domestic violence. She would even call me for advice on how to help someone she thought was being abused. But sometimes it’s hard to make the link to your personal life. Sometimes it takes a friend or co-worker to say, ‘This isn’t right’ and offer support. Even if [the victim] doesn’t take you up on it right away, it will have registered that you are a compassionate, non-judgmental person who’s willing to help.”

“My sister was tough and outspoken. No one could ever accuse her of being a shrinking violet. She often said she was afraid of her ex-husband, but would never let him know it. Cassandra had a hard time seeing verbal abuse and harassing behavior as part of domestic violence. When it’s all talk, it doesn’t always seem as bad. Her last words to our mother were, ‘No mom, I can handle the situation,’” Floyd-Carroll said of the night her sister’s angry ex-husband barged into Floyd’s San Jose home, which was also occupied by Floyd’s mother and four-year-old daughter, Iman.

Although Ron had never physically hurt Floyd in all the years of their relationship, Floyd-Carroll said, he made up for it by verbally and emotionally harassing and putting Floyd down, manipulating her and trying to limit her interactions with family and friends. Because of Ron’s lack of physical abuse, along with the remorseful apologies that usually followed his outbursts, Floyd-Carroll suspects her sister never imagined Ron would resort to lethal violence, but that’s just what he did during their last argument that night in 2001. After shooting Floyd several times at close range, he got into his car, fled to the hills and killed himself as well.

Floyd-Carroll is now raising her niece along with her own two children, all of whom remember Floyd and talk about the incident from time to time. Floyd-Carroll said she hopes that what they’ve learned from this will help them make healthy choices later in life.

“I pray that Iman and my daughter never have to struggle with domestic violence issues when they grow up, and that my son grows up to know that if you’re a real man, you respect and honor the women you love,” she said.
Kaiser Santa Teresa is located at the intersection of Cottle Road and Santa Teresa Boulevard. Kaiser membership is not necessary to visit and view the exhibit. From May 13-18, Silent Witness will be on display at the 1 and 2 North buildings; from May 19-24, it will be on display at the ABCD buildings. For more information, call (408) 972-3000.