May 13, 2004

TIMES HUMOR: BOROWITZ REPORT

Majority can no longer recall why they liked ‘Friends’

Former Fans Mystified By Show’s Appeal

Less than a week after the airing of the much-hyped finale of the series “Friends,” former fans of the hit sitcom can no longer remember why they liked the show to begin with, a new poll reveals.

The survey, taken by the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Public Opinion, shows that 79 percent of former “Friends” fans could not name one thing they liked about the show, 21 percent said that they liked Jennifer Aniston’s hair, and 0 percent said they liked David Schwimmer.

“I find all of this rather surprising,” said Dr. Ronald Frome, who conducted the survey, “except for the David Schwimmer part.”

Dr. Frome said that the fact that former “Friends” fans are now thoroughly mystified by the show’s appeal seems to dovetail with the results of another survey in which a wide majority agreed with the statement, “I never watched ‘Sex and the City’ voluntarily.”

“According to that survey, a full 98 percent of former ‘Sex and the City’ viewers watched it only because their spouse/partner forced them to,” Dr. Frome said.

As for the new Olsen twins film “New York Minute,” Dr. Frome said it was difficult to conclude whether people could remember anything they liked about the movie because, in his words, “We have so far been unable to locate anyone who has seen it.”

In other entertainment news, Disney CEO Michael Eisner revealed that he decided not to distribute Michael Moore’s new film because the movie alleged an unsubstantiated link between the Saudi royal family and Nemo.

For more go to: www.borowitzreport.com

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