May 4, 2006

Men get ‘pumped up’ to get message out to their peers

Annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event organized by Silicon Valley
YWCA Rape Crisis Center in honor of sexual assault awareness month

By Daniel DeBolt
Staff Writer

On April 21, Cesar Chavez Park witnessed a throng of men strutting around in high heels and lining a stage like proud beauty pageant contestants.

On April 21, Cesar Chavez Park witnessed a throng of men strutting around in high heels and lining a stage like proud beauty pageant contestants at the annual “Walk A Mile In Her Shoes” event.

But these men aren’t cross-dressers or drag queens. Some of them hold top positions in city politics.

The purpose of this event is to raise awareness about a very serious issue—domestic violence. The event is called “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” and it was organized by the YWCA Silicon Valley Rape Crisis Center during sexual assault awareness month.

Speakers commended the men for showing their support by becoming role models for other men who make up the small percentage who sexually assault women.

“You are the ones who will offset that percentage,” said Keri McLain, CEO of the Silicon Valley YWCA. “It takes a lot of courage for you to come out here today.”

On the stage and in heels were mayoral candidates Michael Mulcahy, David Pandori and Chuck Reed. County Assessor Larry Stone showed off a glittering pair of purple pumps. Councilmen Forest Williams and Ken Yeager were also present in heels. San Jose Police Chief Rob Davis, and San Jose Fire Chief Jeff Clet, were event co-chairs.

“Let’s get pumped up!” said the last speaker. The speakers had talked the talk and now the men were going to walk the walk.

Walking a whole mile in high heels isn’t easy. Huy Tran stumbled down Market Street with a new appreciation for at least part of what some women go through every day: walking in uncomfortable shoes. But he was having fun.

“I’ve been wanting to come to this event since I first heard about it,” said Tran, a local activist. “It’s a great idea, a good way to get a focus on the issue.”

Women held signs as the marchers passed.

“One in five women in college report having been forced to have sexual intercourse,” read one sign held up for all to see.

One in three women and one in five men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, according to the YWCA.

Domestic violence is “all too accepted in our culture,” said Sandy Davis, director of the YWCA Rape Crisis Center. “It effects social progress, hurts our pride and hurts individuals at the most intimate and personal level.”

Participants wore black shirts that read “put yourself in her shoes” and carried signs that read “good man crossing.”

A man who only called himself by his first name, Gabe, gave a speech praising the YWCA Rape Crisis Center for saving his life.

“I’m here to talk about rape as a survivor myself,” Gabe said.

A friend of Gabe’s family, who no one suspected, sexually abused Gabe for seven years before he was finally caught and sentenced to prison for 15 years on 22 felony charges.

“I would not be here today if it were not for their (the YWCA) love and support,” he said. “They have been my lighthouse in the fog.”

Participants wore black shirts that read “put yourself in her shoes” and carried signs that read “good man crossing.”

Vice Mayor Cindy Chavez spoke about the march in an interview days later. She said it was an example of how much power the community can have. She saw an athlete from San Jose State at the march whom Chavez said was going to make an awesome example for his peers. “Me marching is one thing, but an athlete that fellow students look up to is another thing. This will help their peers realize that violence against women will not be tolerated,” said Chavez.

Patrick Donovan has been a staff person for the Rape Crisis Center the past two years. He’s familiar with the problem of rape and domestic violence. He’s helped the YWCA teach the 15,000 kids they reach every year in classroom visits where rape and abuse are brought to light. There are even kindergarten classes, though the language used is much more general.

Donovan thought the march was an excellent idea.

“You have to reach men, because men have the most credibility with other men,” he said. “This is a way for them to take a very positive and public step in the right direction.”

Donations for up to $100 each were taken at the event. Proceeds went to the YWCA Silicon Valley Rape Crisis Center.

The 24-hour Rape Crisis hotline phone number is (408) 287-3000. For more information about the YWCA Silicon Valley Rape Crisis Center visit www.ywca-scv.org.