April 22, 2004

TIMES HUMOR: BOROWITZ REPORT

Saudi prince offered oil for Demi Moore

New Book Details Prince Bandar's Indecent Proposal

A book published today reveals that in meetings held between President Bush and Saudi ambassador Prince Bandar before the Iraq war, Prince Bandar offered to reduce Saudi oil prices in exchange for a night alone with Demi Moore.

The alleged arrangement, denounced by Democrats on Capitol Hill as an "indecent proposal," seems likely to add fuel to the debate over the complicated relationship between President Bush and the Saudi royal family..

According to the book, President Bush was finishing showing Prince Bandar plans for the invasion of Iraq when the Saudi changed the subject to Ms. Moore, the star of such films as "Ghost" and "Striptease."

"That Demi Moore is one hot number," Prince Bandar reportedly told the President. "If I could spend one night with her, I'd be willing to drop the price of crude oil by nine dollars a barrel."

The President then arranged a meeting at the White House at which he, Prince Bandar, Ms. Moore, and Ms. Moore's boyfriend, Ashton Kutcher, were all present, where the so-called "indecent proposal" was broached.
After initially expressing shock over the nature of the deal, Ms. Moore and Mr. Kutcher acquiesced to the oil-for-booty proposition.

But when Prince Bandar showed up for his assignation with Ms. Moore, the actress was not there - replaced instead by Mr. Kutcher, in drag, who told the prince: "Dude, you've been punk'd!"

In other news, Bill Clinton's book has reportedly gotten bogged down in the editing stage, with Mr. Clinton and his editor disagreeing over what the meaning of the word "is" is.

For more go to: www.borowitzreport.com

The critics are raving about GOVERNOR ARNOLD: A Photodiary of His First 100 Days in Office. GOVERNOR ARNOLD is available for $9.95 at Amazon.com.