March 24, 2005


Pioneer alumnus Rob Becker gives his comedic slant on
the differences between men and women

Hugely successful ‘Defending the Caveman’ comes to Flint Center

By Jeanne Carbone Lewis
Staff Writer

Rob Becker has found fame as a funny guy. But it wasn’t always that way.

Becker is known for starring in “Defending the Caveman,” the longest running solo play in Broadway history with 702 performances at the Helen Hayes Theater. It first opened in San Francisco in 1991 at the Improv Comedy Club. A candid exploration of the gender gap, the insightful play leaves both sexes roaring with laughter and recognition about the struggle to relate.

According to Becker, men’s single mindedness is due to hunting alone, while women are gatherers. Photo by Joan Markus.

He has performed all over the United States and his observations of ongoing misunderstandings between men and women are so perceptive that therapists have even recommended it to clients.

He was even asked to perform at the annual convention of American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy in Toronto.

Perhaps laughter is the best medicine.

A San Jose native, Becker attended Pioneer High School, graduating in 1974. When asked what the best thing about the school was, he quickly answers “the speed bumps.” But he turns serious soon after.

“I was a quiet kid,” said Becker. “I’d kid around with my close friends and that was it. I had great teachers, but I was a pretty mediocre student. I was mainly interested in sports.”

Football was his sport and the team went undefeated his senior year.

Becker attended San Jose State University and wrote down accounting as his major, but actually studied psychology, sociology, and anthropology. A guidance counselor told him “he should work with his hands.” And he didn’t mean writing. Close friends told him he should be a comedian with his quick wit, but Becker dreamed of singing and songwriting.

Rob Becker’s Pioneer senior photo, circa 1974. Ironically the successful comedian was a “quiet kid” at Pioneer.

In the 1970s, Pioneer had an annual folk festival that featured alumni of the school. Becker learned to play the guitar and wrote songs akin to James Taylor and Cat Stevens. He warmed up the crowd with one-liners and drew laughs, but when it came time to sing, stage fright caused him to forget all the words. Fortunately his improvisational humor and observations brought the house down. The audience thought it was all part of the act and loved it, showering Becker with laughter and accolades.

Friend Kevin Pollak [“A Few Good Men,” “The Usual Suspects”], also an alumnus of Pioneer, was master of ceremonies at the event. He told Becker to give up the guitar and singing and be a comedian, commenting that he was as funny as any professional Pollak had seen.

Becker began performing at Bay Area comedy clubs, doing more Seinfeld-esque humor; observations on everyday life. When he got married a few years later he says he truly believed that men and women were the same, that there are no differences. He soon found out differently and felt that everything was directed against men.

“I couldn’t believe that I was wrong every time there was a fight,” said Becker laughing.

“So I started to explore the differences and understand them. We’re like two different cultures.”

Hunters and gatherers
Becker’s comedy began reflecting the differences. He went to the library and asked about the history of relationships and marriage. That began a three-year study of the history of men and women. He found that our evolutionary psychology is shaped by our behavior not our gender. According to Becker, men’s single mindedness is due to hunting alone. Women were the gatherers, multitasking for different foods, caring for children and visiting with others at the same time.

Feminists came to see “Defending the Caveman” and paid him the ultimate compliment: “hilarious because it’s true.” Another myth he dispels is that cavemen would hit the woman over the head and drag them off. No evidence was found in Becker’s studies. In fact the opposite was true. Women were considered Goddesses and who were meant to be protected and honored.

Kevin Pollak’s Pioneer senior photo, circa 1973. Pollack persuaded Becker to give up music and explore his natural comedic talents.

“Men and women are different,” said Becker. “Not right or wrong—just different. And the caveman was a pretty cool guy.”

Next on the horizon: “Cave Dad”
Becker is writing a new show “Cave Dad” and is getting lots of material from his three children.

“Mothering is considered wonderful,” said Becker. “But with fathering you’re under a lot of suspicion. You can’t go very far, like being on parole. And you’re asked a lot of questions.”

The idea for his new play began with a revelation while laid up from a back injury playing softball. Every Thursday, members of Broadway’s theater community play games at New York’s Central Park. During one gathering, Becker hurt his back with a run-in from Mathew Broderick at home plate. Going home, his son wanted to roughhouse with his father. Hurting from the accident, he was unable to lift him and realized that children need the tactile stimulation that fathers give and the “ah-ha!” of “Cave Dad” began.

“Defending the Caveman” will be coming to Cupertino’s Flint Center next month. Becker is thrilled to be returning to his old stomping grounds.

“I grew up going to the Flint Center and the Curran Theater [in San Francisco],” said Becker. “It’s an amazing experience to come home and play there. I always have a good time.”

Rob Becker’s “Defending the Caveman” will be at the Flint Center April 8-9.

Go to www.ticketmaster.com for ticket information.