March 3, 2005

Aging Connection

Caregivers: your health is at risk if you don’t take care of yourself

By Vivian Silva
Special to the Times

The many inquires we received regarding my last article titled “Geriatric Advisory Program offers ideas, support” and the new support group for caregivers prompted the subject for this issue, “Taking Care of Ourselves.”

While each person’s situation is different, what is the same is one’s need for self-care. At a recent health fair for women, the audience gasped when the speaker announced that one out of four caregivers die before the person they are caring for.

Unfortunately, too many caregivers don’t take enough time for themselves. Contrary to what others might say, this is not a selfish act. In fact, in the long run, a healthy caregiver will provide better care for their loved one and increase the odds they will stay alive!

Most people are not prepared for the task of caregiving. If still working, the task of balancing home life and a work schedule present their own challenges. Adding a parent’s health crisis, for example, requiring intense levels of care or constant care, commonly fuels feelings of frustration, exhaustion or sadness. I’ve heard many caregivers express satisfaction in caring for a loved one once they’ve found community resources and support from family and friends.

It is also common for a female caring for her spouse to say, “My husband doesn’t want me to hire someone to help with his care.” Of course she probably is the best at providing care for her husband.

However, if she doesn’t take a break to rest, eat well, exercise and socialize, she’s at risk for her own health crisis. Remember by taking care of yourself, you are also taking care of your spouse or partner.

My advice to the caregivers who are calling AVCS to say they’d love to attend the support group but just don’t have the time is this: IT’S IMPORTANT TO MAINTAIN YOUR HEALTH. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

And who might some of you be? A son driving his father to the regular physical appointments and helping him pay his monthly bills; a neighbor or friend who brings you meals since your discharge from the hospital; a woman in San Jose who calls her elder sister in San Diego each week to help with the insurance paperwork; or a niece who moves in to care for her aunt, who is recovering from a broken leg.

There is still time to sign up for the Caregiver Support Group. The group will be held six Thursdays in a row starting March 3, from 1 to 2:30 p.m. Call Vivian I. Silva, gerontologist at (408) 975-2988 for fee and registration information.

Vivian I. Silva, Gerontologist/MSW is the director of Geriatric Advisory Program at Almaden Valley Counseling Service. The service educates and advises adult children and elders on aging issues and provides individual and family consultation. For more information call (408) 975-2988 or e-mail vivsilva@aol.com.