Feb 26, 2004

TIMES HUMOR

BOROWITZ REPORT

SADDAM DENOUNCES 'SEX AND THE CITY' FINALE
Carrie Should Have declared Jihad, Iraqi strongman says

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein denounced the final episode of HBO's hit series "Sex and the City" today, complaining that Carrie, the columnist played by Sarah Jessica Parker, did not join in the jihad against U.S. forces in Iraq as he had hoped.

While much of the speculation surrounding the "Sex" finale hinged on whether Ms. Parker's character would wind up with one of her beaux, played by actors Mikhail Baryshnikov and Chris Noth, the former Iraqi dictator had apparently convinced himself in recent weeks that Carrie would leave Manhattan to join the insurgents in Iraq.

According to a Red Cross worker who watched the final episode with the Iraqi madman, Saddam believed up until the closing minutes of the show that Carrie would decide to leave both Mr. Noth and Mr. Baryshnikov to attempt to spring Saddam from his Iraqi jail.

"In the end, Saddam really seemed pretty sure that Carrie was going to wind up with him," the worker said.

But as the final episode of "Sex in the City" came to a close with none of the former dictator's scenario coming to pass, Saddam became enraged and explosive, the aid worker said.

"He stood up in his cell and shouted, 'No, no, no!'" the Red Cross representative said. "Then he whipped off his shoe and threw it at the screen. It was freaky."

Andy Borowitz’ new book “GOVERNOR ARNOLD: A Photodiary of His First 100 Days in Office” may be purchased at www.amazon.com For more Borowitz columns, visit www.Borowitzreport.com