Jan 8, 2004

Volunteer ‘Big Brothers’ receive as well as give

Local man learns from young friend

By Shari Kaplan
Staff Writer

When commercials interrupt their favorite TV shows, most people either change the channel, get up for a snack or take a bathroom break.

If Blossom Valley resident Sam Taherian, 36, had done that a few years ago, he never would have seen a commercial for Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS), a nationwide non-profit mentoring program that matches at-risk youths with compatible, responsible adult role models.

“I remember that commercial very well. There was a black guy in his mid-20s playing ball; he was striking out left and right! There was a young boy with him, laughing and having a good time,” recalls Taherian, who holds a master’s degree in engineering and a doctorate in law as well as a pilot’s license.

“I identified with that because I’m not very athletically inclined,” he admits with a chuckle. “But you don’t have to be good at any particular thing to be a Big Brother or Big Sister. You just have to care.”

Taherian contacted the Santa Clara County chapter of BBBS and in February 2002 was matched with his “little brother” Che,, who lives in the South San Jose area with his parents and brother. Taherian and Che, now nearly 13-years old, have spent almost two years developing a relationship which both assert they have no plans to end.
“Sam’s pretty cool. He takes me out to places and buys me stuff sometimes,” says Che, reclining in a booth at Carl’s Jr., where the pair likes to indulge in burgers and fries.

“I like when we go to movies ‘cause I like seeing the movies that have just come out,” Che adds, at which time Taherian jokingly asks if he remembers a certain popcorn incident.

Che smirks knowingly as Taherian recounts one of their more memorable shared activities—both ate too much popcorn covered in too much butter at the movies, and both later got simultaneously sick.

Along with taking in movies and burgers, Taherian and Che spend time roller-blading, swimming, biking and playing ping-pong. And sometimes, like most men, they like to kick back and talk about girls.

“I do pretty high-stress work, but the time I spend with Che lets me forget everything else going on. When I hang out with him, I get to appreciate ratcheting down my intensity and stress level,” Taherian says.

“Adolescents find happiness in such little things. He got so ecstatic over a new pair of Air Jordans I couldn’t believe it. For me to be that ecstatic, I’d have to buy a Ferrari or something!” he adds, laughing.

Speaking of cars, Taherian says that’s another interest of Che’s, so he occasionally takes his little brother to Malibu Grand Prix, where they can drive around the enclosed track. Back at Taherian’s condo, they enjoy working on model car and truck kits and racing remote-controlled cars.

“Once in a blue moon, I’ll pick Che up outside our regularly scheduled activities and I’ll take him to Borders or Barnes & Noble and let him read while I’m studying,” says Taherian, a law clerk who is preparing for admission to the California Bar. “I think it’s important for Che to see the value of studying and reading.”

Taherian also feels it’s important for all “Bigs” to be willing to make a long-term commitment. Whether or not he’s studying, stressing over work or courting a girlfriend, Taherian says Che will always be a part of his life. And if Taherian gets married and has children, he’s invited Che to consider himself the children’s “uncle.”

“I remember Che once asked me, ‘What do you do when you’re not working for Big Brothers?’” Taherian recalls of the early part of their relationship. “He thought I was paid to do it. I told him ‘nobody pays me; I do this because I like to and I want to, and I care about you.’ That really blew him away.”

“At some point, he may feel he’s too cool to hang out with me, but I hope not. I plan to be around!” Taherian says.

About The Big Brother/Big Sister Organization
BBBS’s mission is to prepare the children and teens of today to become the independent, successful adults of tomorrow. To that end, it matches youths between the ages of 6 and 17 with mature, supportive adult role models (also called “Bigs”). The Bigs not only share interests and hobbies with their little brothers and sisters, but they also provide the academic, emotional and social support their “Littles” might not necessarily get enough of at home.

According to BBBS of Santa Clara County, many young people in the program come from single-parents households; many households are also in low socio-economic brackets. Some youths served by BBBS are also at risk for substance abuse, pregnancy, academic problems, gang activity or low self-esteem.
Statistics on the local chapter’s Web site show that youths matched with “Big” siblings are—among other things—55 percent better at expressing their feelings, 52 percent less likely to skip school and 46 percent less likely to use illegal drugs. Sixty-four percent report higher self-confidence levels, and 58 percent earn higher grades in school.

The path to becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister involves several steps, including an orientation, application form, interviews with BBBS staff, background checks, automobile insurance and several personal and professional references.

Volunteer orientations generally take place the first and third Tuesdays of each month. For more information, call 408.244.1911 or visit www.bbbs-scc.org on the Internet.